666 ways to masturbate

666 ways to masturbate is going to be a hard figure to live up to so in this post I have included a selection of the ways that Kane and David O'Boyle discuss on Skype.


11. Masturbate with your tears.

12. Masturbate into the laundry.

13. Masturbate on a planes wheels so the plane can't move because it's like super glue.

14. Masturbate into one of your socks and throw it in with your clean socks so maybe you put it on someday.

15. Masturbate on your knee, let it dry, and make a cast.

16. Masturbate into your new clothes to wear them in.

17. Masturbate in the middle of the football pitch with everyone watching. Just stop, middle of the game and start masturbating.

18. Masturbate in the shower and plug up the drain.

19. Masturbate to the COD, while on the mic.

20. Masturbate to Economist Magazine.

21. Masturbate on your College/University paper, then turn it in, with a sperm signature.

22. Masturbate on the till at work.



Hoping for more from Kane and Dave soon to help us reach this magical total.

And some more from myself:


23. Masturbate while reading this list.

24. Cum into a tissue and offer it to a weeping woman.

25. Blow your load onto the floor in your house and don't clean it up. Hygiene and cleanliness is over-rated.

26. Wax your floor with your sperm.

27. Wax your surfboard with your sperm.

28. Wax the kerb with your sperm and grind it on your skateboard.

29. Make a nest with your sperm and sleep in it like a bird.

30. Soggy Biscuit. Fuck Monopoly.

31. "COME GET SOME", masturbate to the pixel strippers in Duke Nukem 3D, "GET SOME CUM".

32. Take a girl back to your room, caress her, fuck her, then finish yourself off in front of her by pulling out your laptop and watching porn.

33. Watch Church Of Fudge. Get aroused.

34. Masturbate onto your fist and then fist your girlfriend.

35. Masturbate onto your fist and then punch your girlfriend.

Nicholas Rose Quotes

So it's almost 6 o'clock on a Wednesday of which I have done nothing all day except talk about male shoppers in a Consumer Behaviour essay. Life is bleak.

Things are on the up though, because I have gathered a few more quotes from my COD addict/co-blog writer flatmate. As before, I have watched Nicholas while he played Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 and this time in general life as well. When I heard some sort of ridiculous comment come out of his mouth I wrote it down. It's made more funny if you imagine the way he says each comment in his Gloucester accent.

• Yeah, In England we fuck your mum
• It must suck being Spanish, I bet your mums are prostitutes and shit
• I swear I saw a girl go into tiger tiger wearing a hooters uniform. She doesn’t even work there! “Yeah I wanna look like a slut I’ll dress in a hooters uniform.”
• I remember at Butlins there was this kid called Yarn.

It's a big shame that he won't be coming to America in the summer.

In other news it's 4/20 in 6 days. I wanted to do a 420 pics special, but after tearing a ligament in my knee I've been spending a lot of my time in the house doing work as opposed to doing more important things like finding 420's.

Streets of Rage

fuck off 2

This man:

likes to sleep in cars,
fails at eBay,
and watches One Tree Hill.

Amen