666 ways to masturbate

140. Masturbate at church.

141. Masturbate before you go to bed; it helps you sleep.

142. Masturbate in a petrol station. Not in their bathroom, just in the middle of the mini shop they have.

143. Capture a cricket that's making that annoying sound where it rubs its legs together. Masturbate onto the legs of that cricket. That way, when the cricket goes to make that annoying sound, its legs just stick together.

144. Spell 'wank' onto a game of scrabble. Then wank on that game of scrabble.