Kriss Akabusi Erotic Short Novels

For those of you that do not know of Kriss Akabusi, probably if you're American, he helped to steal the Gold medal from USA from you in the Tokyo 1991 World Championships 4x400m relay. Now he's a C list celebrity dabbling in TV work, and trying his hand as a motivational speaker. He is also widely regarded as the originator of the catchphrase 'Awoooga!', followed by a double fist pump, although the phrase actually originated on TV series Red Dwarf.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kriss_Akabusi

Anyway, recently my housemate Jake brought to my attention a brilliant work of fiction involving Kriss Akabusi. Turns out it is one of a handful that have been written. I leave you with one of them, the one he showed me, with more to come:


Akabusi scaled the walls of the £756,000 Sussex mansion with all the stealth of a gekko on a Mallorcan shower wall. As luck would have it the window was open. He dropped in and slipped out of his dungerees and let the cool air caress his polished ebony skin.

The house was quiet. He looked into one room and saw the sleeping Peter Andre - without the wig and wax on his face he was rather beautiful. But Akabusi wasn't into arses. Not today.

He heard a noise coming from the bathroom. He ran along the landing, his giant cock swinging in the air like Saddam on Youtube. He looked into the bathroom and saw a mad little f**ker, big as a barrel and blind as a bat leaping up and down in some boiling water.

"Akabusi!" said a voice behind him. "Stop looking at my son with your cock out".

Akabusi slowly turned around and saw Katie Price in front of him - wearing nothing but a Juicy Couture camisole and the slightest glistening of her ample clunge.

As ever Akabusi's cock became harder than the Guardian cryptic and proceeded to bang her tits off as Harvey ate a bag of Prawn Cocktail crisps from the floor that Akabusi had brought just in case.

Before Akabusi left he wiped his now dying cock on Harvey's afro, bent down to the prone Jordan, who lay like a painter's radio in the moonlight, and whispered "Awooga" in her ear and patted her on the fanny.

The End